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Memphis, TN
Memphis! Home of blues music and stomping ground of The King (of the Elvis variety) and King (of the Dr Martin Luther Jr variety). Memphis has something of a ruined feel to it - there are many vacant lots and abandoned buildings. Despite being a large city it conveys a sensation of space wherever you go. We went to the Arcade diner, a place where Elvis frequented, but it was closed. We then went to the Museum of Civil Rights, but it was closed. Well, we tried to be cultural at least. We finally ate at Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken, listening to the blues of Al Green on the jukebox, and staring into the vortex of 50s hairstyles - Elvis apparently lives on in Memphis fashion. We took a wide-eyed and tight-fisted hike down Beale Street, which is now an exploited tourist trap - something of a far cry from the place Luther King first raised his voice in protest. Nothing much to see, but some things to hear - an excellent blues/rock band that played for you when you gave them a dollar. Seeing little to stay for and with the day still young we drove on, intending to camp somewhere in 'Bama.
Mississippi
Our route took us briefly through Mississippi, and Joe demanded that we scour the state for the famous "Mississippi mud pie". After several denials of even the existence of mud pie (and one awkwardly blank stare that lasted so long we were on the point of calling an ambulance) Joe gave up and accepted a delicious-looking piece of "carrot cake cheesecake" that in reality was very disappointing, and failed to live up to the hype of either of its components.
Alabama
We took the backroads just north of Birmingham and attempted to locate 1 of the 4 campsites on the map. After 45 minutes of fruitless driving around the pitch-black countryside we found ourselves in an abandoned track and decided to call it a day there and sleep in the car. Mark immediately stepped in something that felt like a stinging nettle. Setting his jaw at a manly angle he stubbled his way through the pain and limped on, professing that he had no fear of dying. As the stinging marched up his leg Mark realised foul play was afoot (or aleg) and he had stepped in an ant's nest, so feverishly set to brushing the ants off himself and into the driver's seat (genius). After 10 minutes of springcleaning the ants we attempted sleep in the hot, humid and stuffy car, unable to crack the windows for fear of mosquitoes and a continued campaign by the ants to conquer Mark. After an hour of sweaty, uncomfortable nightmarish half-sleep we decided that nature could win this round and we'd find a nice barren motel. The next day Mark discovered that they had been fireants, and Joe was forced to stop making fun of his pathetic mewling and whinging of the night before. Mark is still harassing Joe about parking him over a nest.
Atlanta, GA
We made it to Atlanta in the early evening using directions accessed on an iphone at an AT&T mobile shop (now that's resourcefulness! Of course if we had been organised we wouldn't have needed to be resourceful, but where is the fun in that?). Iphones may be trendy, overpriced fashion icons but you can't say they aren't useful. We met with an ex-Chinaclimber called Wade that had returned from the far east earlier that day, and went out to Ormsby's bar, to meet his sister and her insane friends (one of which exploded when we pretended we were from Wisconsin). We drank excellent beer (as usual, yawn, yawn) and Mark got caned at "shuffleboard", which depending on who you listen to, is an excellent game requiring skill, strategy and cunning, or a pointless cheater's game for small-minded fools. It is something like curling but uses sand instead of ice.
The next day we breakfasted at Waffle House (where we ate waffles), interneted, played football in the park, watched Wade's sister-in-law's ridiculous dog attempt going down polished stairs (somewhere between googly-eyed panic and tail-wagging excitement) and in the evening watched a film after being fed to bursting by his very pleasant parents (hot wings and chocolate fudge pie!). We didn't really feel any urge to see Atlanta's famous Museum of Coca-cola (apparently nothing more than a relentless multiple hour advert) or any other sight, so didn't bother.
Raleigh, NC
We waved a tearful goodbye to Wade and zoomed off to Raleigh, North Carolina. Upon arrival and meeting Katie the couchsurfer, we were whisked off to Raleigh's first annual Hopscotch music festival, at which Katie was volunteering. Katie's friend had spotted her ex-boyfriend with a woman earlier that day thus was a total wreck and could no longer leave her ice-cream tub, let alone volunteer, so with nary a backward glance we stepped into the breach and quickly found ourselves organising queues of North Carolinians outside the rap and r&b venue. It was an easy job and we were able to chat to plenty of people, so it passed fairly pleasantly. After a couple of hours, however, we got bored and returned to Katie's house to drink some beers with her friends (is there even a single a sentence in this blog that doesn't contain "drink some beers"? Maybe we've become alcoholics).
We got up late, ate a breakfast of melon and toast and headed into town to take in the daytime part of the Hopscotch festival. We enjoyed a couple of perrys and beers watching the bands come and go from the stage erected in the street. Some bands were great and others so badly mixed that half their instruments were inaudible. Such is live music! We had a look in the overcrowded science museum and also the starkly contrasting history museum, more or less devoid of people (and balanced history). After that we drove to Durham (half an hour north of Raleigh) to watch a baseball game and eat a pile of shattered nachos covered in chilli and glossy liquid cheese. Baseball mostly isn't as exciting as football, unless a foul ball cannons into the stands or an overzealous player flings his bat into the crowd. Entertainment between plays consisted of an organ, the mascot (Wool E. Bull) riding a go-kart and firing t-shirts into the crowd from a converted paintball gun, and bizarre races and challenges involving members of the crowd and a deliriously enthusiastic and encouraging compère. We returned, again flushed with a victory we had no part in, met with Katie and company, and went out for some more beers. Mark took it upon himself to strengthen US-UK ties and Joe went home.
Joe woke up on a different couch from the one he fell asleep on, minus one t-shirt. No questions were asked. We staggered (it was a particularly long and demanding night the night before - we must have met half of Raleigh!) to the grocery store where, after a lengthy and pointless debate about the merits of bread (brains not firing on all cylinders, supposing cylinders were even present), we bought all the components necessary for the Full English and returned to the apartment, slaver dripping from our maws as we prepared to throw around a variety of animal products in pans of boiling grease. Leaving our hosts with dirty plates, empty teacups and stunned with new-found Queenly patriotism, we bid a greasy farewell and set off toward Virginia.
The Future
We are heading to Washington DC, via Shenandoah National Park, Virginia!
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